3 of my self love tips

“She The Change” - this was one of the options for the name of my brand before I settled on More Than Pretty. I share this because this week’s blog post started off as a bit of a rant - then I remembered that I need to be the change I want to see in the world so I took a trip to the flowers, got some fresh air into my lungs and now I am taking a slightly different and less ranty approach.

You see the inauthentic authenticity that is flooding social media has me peeved (not the p word I wanted to use) lately. I am over the “life changing self love tips” that amount to “eat fruit and wear sunblock”. We are constantly being sold self care tips from every corner of the internet and they all seem to be the same morning routine, skincare routine mambo jumbo that is unattainable to the average woman. And if I'm completely honest with you - they’re lazy and a stretch. I mean why are we trying to turn a promotional post for olive oil into a self love tip? 

But I digress. I am not (just) here to moan or complain. I am here to share my self love tips. They are not quick fixes - but they won’t cost you anything other than will power and determination to be better to yourself. And, I promise, they won’t try to sell you anything

So here we go. My 3 tips to a better self loving life:

1. Have the hard conversations. This is certainly the hardest of the “tips” I am sharing today. You don’t need to have the hard conversations with everyone, but with those who matter most to you- your spouse, your children, your siblings, your closest friends - I highly recommend!

   An honest conversation can solve more problems than you think but so many of us grew up in households where effective communication was not something we were taught. So these conversations take an active effort and can be sorely uncomfortable. But from discomfort - comes growth. So take the leap, have the conversation and be willing to have it again and again and again because in my experience - once often doesn’t stick. The rewards, however, are priceless. Honest conversations lead to you being able to be more of your authentic self around the people who matter most.

   
   

2. Work to change your inner dialogue. So many of us are stuck with an inner voice that isn’t very kind. It is worth putting in the time and effort to change that voice to be your fan instead of your enemy. It’s not an easy task - for me it took years of post it notes filled with affirmations stuck around my home, reminding me that I am worth a positive thought. In fact that is where the idea for my bags came originally from - the idea that repeating a positive affirmation to yourself regularly eventually rewires the way you think about yourself. Train yourself to speak life and speak love into yourself. Speak it out loud and speak it often.

   
   

3. Learn to apologise and learn to forgive. Apologise to yourself and be learn to be okay with being wrong. You don’t have to work towards being perfect - just towards being okay with not being perfect. Our egos are wild things and they often force us to live in misery rather than admit that we are wrong. Being okay with being wrong has really changed almost every relationship in my life.

   
   

Okay so my tips are not earth shattering - but they are the type that requires deep work - not a trip to the mall. Despite what your average influencer might have you think- no product you buy off the shelf whether it be a secret skin serum or protein shake is going to make you love yourself more, the suggestion, in my opinion, is actually a little insulting. Like we all know that the lady going from black and white to colour in the infomercials was acting right? Even at 8 years old, laying in bed, home sick from school, we knew that that was all marketing.

The things we really didn't know back then, are the things no informercial is ever going to try and sell you because - just imagine - for one moment what would to almost every industry if every women, starting right now, really started loving myself, unconditionally, just the way I am?

See what I did there ;)